A woman gets pregnant, and she's not married to the man who got her pregnant.
Whose fault is it? Was it her fault, knowing that being female, the likelihood of getting pregnant is always there if you engage in sex?
Is it ever the man's fault? He's a man, he can't get pregnant so if a woman is willing to have sex with him, it's not his fault that she gets pregnant!
This is exactly what a guy in an online forum says! Did that comment make me simmer!
In the Iban culture, which is still very traditional, to get pregnant out of wedlock brings shame and disgrace to the pregnant woman and to the family. The family usually pressures the woman and the man who got her pregnant to marry. However, if the man runs off and does not do his "duty", then the poor girl will have to give up the child for adoption. It is quite rare for an unmarried woman to raise her child herself. If she chooses not to give up her child, her parents will raise the child for her.
So whose fault is it when a woman becomes pregnant out of wedlock? Is the answer ever one or the other's fault? Are both at fault? Or does there ever have to be anyone's fault?
I would like to think both are at fault, if the word "fault" is to be used. It does take two to tango. But behind the "fault" argument there are a lot more that come into play. Most Iban parents don't talk to their children about sex and the consequences of sex outside of marriage. Schools barely teach sex education. And in a society where the womenfolk serve their men, it is easy for a gullible young woman to be persuaded into proving her "love" for a man. And then there's the influence of free sex on tv, songs, movies, and the availability of pornography on the internet that feeds the curiosity of the impressionable. And let us not forget peer pressure which has a powerful effect on the actions and directions of the impressionable.
My advice to the single women in the forum, stay away from men who say that it will their fault if they get pregnant!